So in my quest to dominate the part of the world that is rightfully mine (That big ugly thing in Asia-land), I am taking Chinese for white kids. Two questions often arise.

How is that part of the world rightfully yours? ah, gentle reader, you are in the (virtual) presence of ROYALTY. Apparently on both sides of my family, I am descendent of two separate dynasties (and you thought they got em all in that massacre, hrm?) I'm closest to the Song "throne" on my mother's side, I guess - my grandmother is apparently the 33rd direct descendant. Making me the 35th. We even have this crazy ancient book proving it, which is hilarious to me. My dad's side is a little farther off (more distantly related to the throne), but hell still verymuch in that tree, still descendent from the man - he's related to the Han dynasty, and my grandfather has got the dish on *those* papers. That makes MY blood bluer than 99% of the people out there, thereby meaning I am severely deoxygenated. How sweet it is.

the second question is: "Chinese for white kids? why?" Because I am white. I mean I guess it was destiny that made me not know anything to do with china-land because the legend just gets sweeter when they recount how I at the age of 20 had to learn the language of the people before moving on to overturning the commie leaders in a violent yet magnificent bloodbath remenicent of Big Man Han original. Back to my damn flashcards I go.