I feel like I need to rant. I have been trapped in the woods (figuratively...the toilets still flush) in the depths of Quebec with my fucking BRATS of cousins. There is one in particular I want to rip the head off of. I could go into detailing what is wrong with this ten year old and in particular, what is wrong with his parents, but I will save myself the aggravation of reliving the moments I've experienced these past few days via their retelling.

I will say, however, that these parents are raising a brood of fucking pathetic chickens. I have never met a boy so fucking wimpy in my life. I would have signed this pussy up for a serious drubbing at the hands of football players by now had it been my own child. I will seriously slap him very soon. Mom and Dad, get a fucking clue.

Get me out of here.

"This is your moment, and every single minute you spend
tryin' to hold on to it cause you may never get it again
So while you're in it, try to get as much shit as you can
And when your run is over just admit when it's at it's end
Cause I'm at the end of my wits with half the shit gets in
I got a list here's the order of my list that it's in
It goes Reggie, Jay-Z, Tupac and Biggie
Andre from Outkast, Jada, Kurupt, Nas and then me
But in this industry I'm the cause of a LOT of envy
So when I'm not put on this list, the shit does NOT offend me
That's why you see me walkin around like nothin's botherin' me
Even though half you people got a fuckin' problem with me
You hate it but you know respect you got to give me
The press's wet dream like Bobby and Whitney, Nate hit me"

I haven't done this, though I'd been meaning to. I was going through itunes and am now going to list my favorite love songs. You don't have to agree with them, I am just in a cheesy mood and feel like doing this. Obviously, I am missing Ted again.

Runaway - The Corrs
Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill
Somewhere Out There - Linda Ronstadt
Baby, Baby - Amy Grant
Let's Make Love - Faith Hill & Tim McGraw
Do you know what you do to me
Everything inside of me
Is wanting you, needing you
I'm so in love with you
Look in my eyes
Let's get lost tonght
In each other

How Do I - LeAnn Rimes
Thank God I Found You - Mariah Carey & 98 Degrees
Be Without You - Mary J. Blige
My Valentine - Martina McBride
The Best of Me - Olivia Newton John & David Foster
All I Ask of You - Phantom of the Opera
I'll Stand By You - The Pretenders
Ice Cream - Sarah McLachlan
The One - Shakira
So I find a reason to shave my legs
Each single morning
So I count on someone Friday Nights to take me dancing and then
To Church on Sunday
To plant more dreams
And someday think of kids
Or maybe just save a little money

Push - Sarah McLachlan
Destiny - Jim Brickman & Jordan Hill
You're My Best Friend - Queen
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy - Sarah McLachlan
After All - Cher & Peter Cetera
Learning How to Smile - Everclear

And after sifting through those, I found a bunch of ones that are perfect "Shit it didn't work out" songs (EX anthems!). These probably pull at the heartstrings even more.

Always on Your Side - Sheryl Crow & Sting
Is there someplace far away
Some place where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder all alone, eternally
'This isn't really how it's meant to be...'

I Ain't Missing You - Tina Turner
All or Nothing - O Town
Unbreak My Heart - Toni Braxton
How Could an Angel Break My Heart - Toni Braxton
Against The Odds - Mariah Carey & Westlife
You'll See - Madonna
White Flag - Dido (I listened to this for days on repeat when I broke up with the last ex.)
Just Once - James Ingram
Cool - Gwen Stefani
Written In the Stars - LeAnn Rimes & Elton John (This song kills me every time, also reeks of the last ex.)
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think, or dream of you, and fail to understand
How the perfect love
Can be confounded out of hand

Oh hell. Since I'm at it, I might as well put down slow sex (you know the kind) songs too. I can cover all the bases tonight!
2 become 1 - Spice Girls (Shut up. it's the right speed.)

Eternal Flame - Bangles
Love Scene - Joe
The Look of Love - Diana Krall
Baby Come to Me - Patty Austin & James Ingram
Unchained Melody - Riteous Brothers (probably because of the Ghost sex scene.)
Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye
Let's Make Love (yes, it also made the love song list.)
Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer
Underneath Your Clothes - Shakira

And I've been 'fraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you.
Well time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm gettin' older too...

Probably one of my favorite songs. It haunts me every time I hear it, even though I'm perfectly happy with my life and would want nothing different. Thoughts in this song resonate deeply with me; it is rumored that Stevie Nicks wrong this song in the throes of cocaine addiction "and I see my reflection in the snow-covered hills" and it forces me to think about the things that I'm addicted to, comforts that make it all the easier to truly be afraid of changing the type of person I am.

I have an easier job than an addict. I can change the course of my life with relative ease and I have to remember to make changes for the better whenever I can.

"Climbed a mountain and turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills"

This shit changes every day, but I have finally nailed down a bike for real because I put a deposit on it today and it is getting shipped to me at some point this week, or early next (hopefully). So it is:

A Pinarello F4:13.
Componentry undecided, but it will probably be Campy Chorus + Shitmano cranks.
A cheapass Ceramic bottom bracket (because I have to get an italian threaded BB anyway...)
My awesome wheels (An ancient pair of Mavic SSCs, now known as SLs)

i will have to train like an animal not to look like a fucking fool on this bike.

So I went to see a system six for the first time a few weeks ago, and I have decided that quite contrary to what I had previously decided (still with me?), I no longer want a system six. The front is just hideous. It is an overbuilt monstrosity, has none of the elgance of the CAAD9 (with which it shares the rear triangle) and is more or less just...nasty.

So i went hunting around, looking for another ride. I think I have settled on it:
Colnago Dream HX (we will see. it seems $$$$)
plus ALMOST Campy chorus everything
my wheels
my Shimano cranks. With a ceramic bottom bracket upgrade.

I decided on this after thinking a few thoughts:
a) Taiwanese carbon fiber is not by bag. Italian bikes, particularly those made by Colnago = better.
b) Campy just makes better shifters/derailleurs. Record is heinously expensive.
c) Campy and FSA both make LOUSY cranks. Shimano makes good ones (mine will do). Maybe I will consider the Chorus 2007 cranks, but probably I will wait because I already have some pretty good Ultegra cranks. Why waste them? The money goes into a schnazzy aftermarket BB from competitivecyclist.com. Mmmmmm.

Mwahahahhaha My old school calculator arrived today. bitchin'. I went on a miniature online shopping spree of sorts (I bought my grad photos and my calculator batteries...two sets of them just in case) and went on a bonanza looking for grad presents. at this point, these presents are really only for one person (schpoiled boy) but I think i have nailed down what they are.

My graduation gifts were tiny but enormous.

In comparison, mine will be enormous but tiny.

Why do I always get everything backwards?