Woo hoo (!)

I have taken a tally of savings from since I started working (and only since I've started working - I will not count my net worth from previously existing).

And my working net worth (so...including the fact that I have to pay rent and minus what I have outstanding on me credit cards) is $6,500(!)

The fact that a significant chunk of that is in Morgan Stanley and Goldman stock is a little annoying. Also the fact that another $2000 is stuck in a 401k is also annoying. But whatever, the fact of the matter is that I have no debt and I'm not broke! I also buy whatever the hell I want, on a regular basis.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I have just eaten the most delicious half-brownie I have ever had.

My better half left today this morning at 6:30 for 9 days off with his family - a full 12 timezones away. I was (and still am) miserable and lonely and proceeded to waste the remainder of the day:

a) Calling American Express customer service to change my billing cycle date
b) Finishing up the remainder of Michael Pollan's "The Omnivore's Dilemma"
c) Half-heartedly doing a Google search on Favrile Glass
and finally,
d) Searching for my dream job (yes, this is a new development) and stalking one of my favorite MDs (also on Google).

He left me a brownie before he went - he brought it home last night, and when we came home around 8:00 he took it out of his briefcase and put it on the kitchen counter by the cutting board. He didn't take it with him this morning, so I assumed he either forgot about it, or meant to give it to me. It's 10:00pm right now and I ate just about half of it.

It had the texture of warm chocolate cake, with a lightly crispy outside and a gooey, melty inside. There were chocolate chips embedded in it for a pleasant, surprising crunch. And it was very, very chocolate. This was nothing like the brownies I remember in my childhood, which were largely chocolate colored, bland, and hopelessly small. This one was robust and almost an inch and a half thick. No weird nutty toppings, either.

Please come home soon.

Can it be November already? Dammit.

I have officially fired my bank (as of a few hours ago), and moved to private banking(!). I cajoled them into waiving all of the account fees (which are not inconsiderable) and they pay my ATM fees worldwide. In exchange, I gave them my direct deposit and shuttled my money over from my ShitiBank account (FUCK YOU, CITIBANK...)

It's Thanksgiving weekend and not only am I having a party, I am going to ride my bike in circles and circles until I am satisfied(!). Something I have not done in quite a while.

I am tired.

Part of me wants to make ridiculous purchases this weekend just because I can!

On the other hand, I could save this money for my condo.

I will probably save most of it.

I am going to see my parents this weekend!

Definitely I will have to work.

I got business cards today!

I have two things to show my directors on Tuesday.

I cut the steer tube on my bike!

I will soon need new bike tires.

YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I saw John in the park again yesterday, it was awesome. I hadn't seen him in about a year and given that I was cooped up inside all day doing credit apps and ratios for Lionel, it made a pretty amazing ride all the better. We spun for about an hour with a few sprints in there just to keep things lively. I definitely have some of my old form back and I definitely have gained quite a bit of kick since I first started on Duckling. I have finally totally adapted to Duckling and I have to say it is the most incredible bike EVER. John rides a Colnago and dresses in super Eurotrash kit. I also ride in pretty eurotrash stuff (my shoes are blue) and together, we look fast. Yesterday, we were fast. I haven't climbed at 17mph in a longgggggggg time but riding felt so good yesterday that it was easy to go that fast. We dropped fat people with tri bikes like bad habits all while catching up on life in the past year.

Man this makes me want to go buy bike stuff.

In other news, Credit apps and I are on warpath and StarWeb can go hurt itself.

Please do not talk to me about this year's tour, I stopped watching when Rabobank fired Rasmussen.

I have decided to dedicate today's post to the annoying know-it all.
You don't know it all because you once went to UTS.
You don't know it all because you made it through college.
You don't know it all because you're a 3rd year associate.
You don't know it all because you majored in engineering.

Please grow a fucking life, people. Know your role and shut your mouth. Whenever you feel like mouthing off, understand conceptually that you are a fly and that you know nothing. Maybe then you'll learn something.

So i have decided to root for an underdog in this year's Tour (Last year I was all for Pereiro and he is probably going to be crowned the winner. I have never really liked Floyd Landis...), and the underdog team. I am putting all my chips on Alejandro Valverde (!) and I hope he comes home with the yellow jersey. As much as Leipheimer looks like Lance, I really do not care for the Disco boys to take another victory. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I just bought a Pinarello and the Caisse d'Epargne team has a fleet of super sexy Dogmas, but that is irrelevant at this point because I know that Caisse d'Epargne is NOT going to win the tour and there will be many teams who will successfully beat them out of the water.

Recap: I will be really upset if Valverde crashes out of this Tour.

I feel like I need to rant. I have been trapped in the woods (figuratively...the toilets still flush) in the depths of Quebec with my fucking BRATS of cousins. There is one in particular I want to rip the head off of. I could go into detailing what is wrong with this ten year old and in particular, what is wrong with his parents, but I will save myself the aggravation of reliving the moments I've experienced these past few days via their retelling.

I will say, however, that these parents are raising a brood of fucking pathetic chickens. I have never met a boy so fucking wimpy in my life. I would have signed this pussy up for a serious drubbing at the hands of football players by now had it been my own child. I will seriously slap him very soon. Mom and Dad, get a fucking clue.

Get me out of here.

"This is your moment, and every single minute you spend
tryin' to hold on to it cause you may never get it again
So while you're in it, try to get as much shit as you can
And when your run is over just admit when it's at it's end
Cause I'm at the end of my wits with half the shit gets in
I got a list here's the order of my list that it's in
It goes Reggie, Jay-Z, Tupac and Biggie
Andre from Outkast, Jada, Kurupt, Nas and then me
But in this industry I'm the cause of a LOT of envy
So when I'm not put on this list, the shit does NOT offend me
That's why you see me walkin around like nothin's botherin' me
Even though half you people got a fuckin' problem with me
You hate it but you know respect you got to give me
The press's wet dream like Bobby and Whitney, Nate hit me"

I haven't done this, though I'd been meaning to. I was going through itunes and am now going to list my favorite love songs. You don't have to agree with them, I am just in a cheesy mood and feel like doing this. Obviously, I am missing Ted again.

Runaway - The Corrs
Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill
Somewhere Out There - Linda Ronstadt
Baby, Baby - Amy Grant
Let's Make Love - Faith Hill & Tim McGraw
Do you know what you do to me
Everything inside of me
Is wanting you, needing you
I'm so in love with you
Look in my eyes
Let's get lost tonght
In each other

How Do I - LeAnn Rimes
Thank God I Found You - Mariah Carey & 98 Degrees
Be Without You - Mary J. Blige
My Valentine - Martina McBride
The Best of Me - Olivia Newton John & David Foster
All I Ask of You - Phantom of the Opera
I'll Stand By You - The Pretenders
Ice Cream - Sarah McLachlan
The One - Shakira
So I find a reason to shave my legs
Each single morning
So I count on someone Friday Nights to take me dancing and then
To Church on Sunday
To plant more dreams
And someday think of kids
Or maybe just save a little money

Push - Sarah McLachlan
Destiny - Jim Brickman & Jordan Hill
You're My Best Friend - Queen
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy - Sarah McLachlan
After All - Cher & Peter Cetera
Learning How to Smile - Everclear

And after sifting through those, I found a bunch of ones that are perfect "Shit it didn't work out" songs (EX anthems!). These probably pull at the heartstrings even more.

Always on Your Side - Sheryl Crow & Sting
Is there someplace far away
Some place where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder all alone, eternally
'This isn't really how it's meant to be...'

I Ain't Missing You - Tina Turner
All or Nothing - O Town
Unbreak My Heart - Toni Braxton
How Could an Angel Break My Heart - Toni Braxton
Against The Odds - Mariah Carey & Westlife
You'll See - Madonna
White Flag - Dido (I listened to this for days on repeat when I broke up with the last ex.)
Just Once - James Ingram
Cool - Gwen Stefani
Written In the Stars - LeAnn Rimes & Elton John (This song kills me every time, also reeks of the last ex.)
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think, or dream of you, and fail to understand
How the perfect love
Can be confounded out of hand

Oh hell. Since I'm at it, I might as well put down slow sex (you know the kind) songs too. I can cover all the bases tonight!
2 become 1 - Spice Girls (Shut up. it's the right speed.)

Eternal Flame - Bangles
Love Scene - Joe
The Look of Love - Diana Krall
Baby Come to Me - Patty Austin & James Ingram
Unchained Melody - Riteous Brothers (probably because of the Ghost sex scene.)
Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye
Let's Make Love (yes, it also made the love song list.)
Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer
Underneath Your Clothes - Shakira

And I've been 'fraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you.
Well time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm gettin' older too...

Probably one of my favorite songs. It haunts me every time I hear it, even though I'm perfectly happy with my life and would want nothing different. Thoughts in this song resonate deeply with me; it is rumored that Stevie Nicks wrong this song in the throes of cocaine addiction "and I see my reflection in the snow-covered hills" and it forces me to think about the things that I'm addicted to, comforts that make it all the easier to truly be afraid of changing the type of person I am.

I have an easier job than an addict. I can change the course of my life with relative ease and I have to remember to make changes for the better whenever I can.

"Climbed a mountain and turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills"

This shit changes every day, but I have finally nailed down a bike for real because I put a deposit on it today and it is getting shipped to me at some point this week, or early next (hopefully). So it is:

A Pinarello F4:13.
Componentry undecided, but it will probably be Campy Chorus + Shitmano cranks.
A cheapass Ceramic bottom bracket (because I have to get an italian threaded BB anyway...)
My awesome wheels (An ancient pair of Mavic SSCs, now known as SLs)

i will have to train like an animal not to look like a fucking fool on this bike.

So I went to see a system six for the first time a few weeks ago, and I have decided that quite contrary to what I had previously decided (still with me?), I no longer want a system six. The front is just hideous. It is an overbuilt monstrosity, has none of the elgance of the CAAD9 (with which it shares the rear triangle) and is more or less just...nasty.

So i went hunting around, looking for another ride. I think I have settled on it:
Colnago Dream HX (we will see. it seems $$$$)
plus ALMOST Campy chorus everything
my wheels
my Shimano cranks. With a ceramic bottom bracket upgrade.

I decided on this after thinking a few thoughts:
a) Taiwanese carbon fiber is not by bag. Italian bikes, particularly those made by Colnago = better.
b) Campy just makes better shifters/derailleurs. Record is heinously expensive.
c) Campy and FSA both make LOUSY cranks. Shimano makes good ones (mine will do). Maybe I will consider the Chorus 2007 cranks, but probably I will wait because I already have some pretty good Ultegra cranks. Why waste them? The money goes into a schnazzy aftermarket BB from competitivecyclist.com. Mmmmmm.

Mwahahahhaha My old school calculator arrived today. bitchin'. I went on a miniature online shopping spree of sorts (I bought my grad photos and my calculator batteries...two sets of them just in case) and went on a bonanza looking for grad presents. at this point, these presents are really only for one person (schpoiled boy) but I think i have nailed down what they are.

My graduation gifts were tiny but enormous.

In comparison, mine will be enormous but tiny.

Why do I always get everything backwards?

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/20/business/20tele.html?hp

I post an awful lot now that I have time. Anyhoo, just a thought about the end of this article, where this poor old man has lost his financial freedom, at the hands of his own relatives, no less. This is absolutely deplorable. Tony Unspach and his extended family, who pitifully leave their grandfather, great-grand father, and father 50 dollars a week of his OWN social security fund (which is a monthly $800 check) can be considered the most greedy, horrifically disrespectful people ever born.

It's his money. Yes, he was bilked out of thousands by fraudsters posing as individuals in charge of his account. It's still his money, not yours. The "extra" $600 you keep from his social security is not rightfully yours and more critically, even if that money is not enough to cover his expenses, it is your obligation to provide for your elderly relative. Stop trying to hoard it all for yourself and ensure yourself a nice fat inheritance because that is by your actions, what you are doing.

May karma come to avenge your actions and may your children leave you to rot, penniless, in a nursing home.

So it has been decided. After toying with the idea of getting a custom ride (an IndyFab), I have finally settled on pure badass race stock: A C'dale SystemSix frame. I haven't decided whether i'm going to pimp it out with campy record (mmm...campy record) or go with a little more of an affordable mongrelizing of it with my current parts from Class Ring. I envision:

SystemSix Frame
These nifty EC90 handlebars that I have
Specialized Toupe saddle
These awesome Ksyrium SLs that I have
Camy Record almost everything else
Some non-Record cranks.

Bitching. I hope it weighs in at 16 pounds...

"To scribble a name on a sheet of paper is easy; to attend a meeting where pacific opinions are more or less rhetorically reiterated to people who believe in them is also easy; and to write a cheque in support of those vaguely acceptable opinions, though not so easy, is a cheap way of quieting what may conveniently be called one's conscience."

Marvelous.

There are a lot of things I could write about right now. I have done some things in the last few days:
-Finished Pirrhana
-Graduated, whipped my apple core at Barnard
-Made scones and other assorted goodies
-Received my passport (fuck you, Canada)
and a host of other things. I could write about the life changing experience riding someone else's bike was, and why I want a new one (or at least a new frame).

But I won't. I am, however, going to go find my core now, for 15 minutes, for the rest of my life.

A restaurant owner opted to kick OJ Simpson out of his steakhouse in Kentucky, refusing to serve him. His reasoning is because of "events that he did in the past" and that he disliked the "attention he still attracted."
I am reminded of Dershowitz at this point in time, and in Letters to a Young Lawyer, where he explains that every defendant is worthy of the most vigorous defence within the bounds of the law and if found to be innocent, then IS. About the wrongful death suit that Simpson is guilty of in civil court? Well, he is skirting paying that by keeping his primary residence in Florida, which does not demand that he sell his primary home or his assets in trust to pay civil damages, also within the bounds of the law. Dershowitz perhaps put it most rightly that the justice system is not about the truth, it's about fairness and process - and THAT is why we allow evidence to be excluded based upon the method that it was collected. Fairness.

Apparently some people still have not learned how to play nicely in the sandbox, and I hope that steakhouse owner Jeff Ruby suffers the consequences of it. I hope they take your liquor license. You may dislike OJ, but he is fair and square with the law.

You know, I thought long and hard about "friends" (the general subject - I don't intend to imply anything about friend classification by using quotes) today. I got news that one is leaving with her fiance for England, and that yet another is off to pursue a higher degree, and I have recently been thinking about the rifts that have materialized between others.

I think I am trying to scrounge around, towards this end of college, for some sort of continuity for when I leave this place and aside from Boy, I am sincerely trying to line up all of my other ducks at least in the category of "friends"

I am beginning by mentally ordering my friends according to the respect I afford them; I think what's becoming painfully apparent is that a lot of so called "respect" is being chipped at by recent (and maybe not so recent) events and behaviors. Sure, I have friends whom I can't and don't respect, but they aren't really my friends - they'll at best be kept at arm's length. This re-ordering, though, is making me see things about friends whom I keep at closer than arm's length, and though I've thought about it over and over for a little while, it's hard to make sense of what it all spells for the future.

I have more thoughts, but i'm afraid I've already said too much.

I interrupt my busy busy week to bring you this little tidbit about Shithead:

WHO THE FUCK STANDS IN FRONT OF A RENOIR FOR A PICTURE YOU UNCULTURED MORON?

I laugh, though, because I know better.

I get these little bursts of vertigo when I read crack for the heart articles or watch the videos now.

But I probably did before, too.

Kenneth Starr today asked for the supreme court to make an "exception" to the First Amendment and allow school officials (in this case a principal) the authority to punish a student for promoting "anti-drug" messages:

This from the Wall Street Journal:
"Kenneth Starr asked the Supreme Court to carve out an exception to the First Amendment, allowing school authorities to suppress student speech if they think it undermines official antidrug messages."

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Maybe Ken Starr is in a tough position, having to defend a case he doesn't believe to be true or viable - hey, everyone's job sucks sometimes, and he might be having one of those times right now. On the other hand, he has advanced one of the most fascist ideas I can think of right now to the nation's highest court. I can go on and on about how this opens up cans and cans of worms, but I am just going to say that perhaps for the sake of the philosophy of American law, and your own sullied reputation, Kenneth, you should have sat down and shut up and never proposed such an offensive, ignorant idea.

You had the right to, though, and that makes all the difference.

I am pretty sure there are a few people out there who would bid a dear sum for the chance to deliver castration with fishing line to a certain special prime minister. I think I am one of them. I am gently reminded how much I hate the Japanese government and modern Japanese culture.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/08/world/asia/08japan.html?hp

I'm actually enraged.

So, as my cellphone finds itself a little more disoriented than normal and also has decided to deliver calls without the clarity of its usual, younger self, I have reached the point of perhaps (and not for a little while, at least), getting a new cellphone. Really, for most people this is a simple task which does not require philosophical waxing, but that is most people, and this is me.

My problem is: I find the Blackberry pearl inexplicably attractive and the functions of the Blackberry 8800 incredibly attractive while at the same time abhoring the corporate whore cachet of both of them. I do not "want" a Blackberry. I want *some* of the things it can do, but none of the things it stands for, namely being leashed to the office which provided you with it. I do not want a Blackberry in the way most people around here want one. I want a way to check my email when I can't get to it (and ONLY when I can't get to it and SHOULD be getting to it): not in the middle of dinner, not in the middle of meetings, not while I should be doing things like spending quality time with friends and such. I want a way to program the odd alert into my phone so I don't forget to do something without obsessively checking my overflowing agenda. I maybe even want a way to send text messages on my cellphone with a little more ease than hacking away at teensy numbers with my thumbs (so instead I can hack away at teensy letter buttons with my thumbs...). I still want a phone that I can turn off during work hours (because it's illegal, where I am, and no, I don't drive a taxi), and one that I can talk normally on without looking like I'm holding a phonebook up to my head. In short, I want sort of a blackberry somewhat, without wanting the "I'm a real banker's bitch" look.

And then I remember the days when I used to cart the Nokia brick around and then I realize that maybe a phone doesn't need to do anything but phone people.

So I never write things in the morning but I figured I'd share this tasty little morsel of interesting with the entire world (also, just to purge my consciousness of it). I had a dream last night about a certain magnificent, amazing, fucking incredible someone who shall remain nameless. She is fabulous in that rockstar way that is basically unparallelled and I will start by saying I hope she never changes because hearing about her exploits is something that brings me inane amounts of joy. She also happens to be an addict: a bona fide alcoholic who throws down sleeping pills like nobody's business. I haven't seen her in about two years now (really?!), nor have I really talked to her, but once she gets her hot mess life together (notice I didn't say hot ghetto mess), I'm sure we'll be in touch again.
So anyway, last night's dream was of her and her family (full disclosure: I've never met them), taking this cross-country train ride (hey, it's a dream, weird shit can happen and it does) and for some reason, she has been forced to become sober. I'm pretty clear on the details of this dream, because it played itself over a few times, and the comedy that ensued from her being SOBER was even better than when House attempts to "go sober" from his Vicodin habit. I love it. So in my dream, ever classy friend was driven to fantastic withdrawl and to drinking even MORE (I didn't say sober from everything) and the resulting hilarity woke me up....a few times.
Anyway, the point of this entire post being: my darling, get your shit together but please, never ever ever change.

I am sick of idiots who whine they have no money yet still a) apply for credit cards from everywhere and b) buy more shit they don't need. I have my moments - ones where I realize that I should just stop buying things. And then you know what? I STOP BUYING SHIT. If I've had a hideous weekend in midtown, I don't buy anything for the rest of the month except groceries and the occasional dinner with boy - and then I PAY THAT SHIT OFF.

I am reminded because one fat nasty bitch I have the misfortune of being acquainted with has made it a point to proclaim loudly on facebook that she has a reasonably expensive shopping problem and then turn around and piss and moan about the debt she is no doubt mired in because of her shopping problem. Seems to me like she fundamentally has a discipline and thinking problem: No Discipline + No Thinking + Food = Fat Nasty Bitch; No Discipline + No Thinking + Credit Card = Broke Fat Nasty Bitch who whines to the whole world about her brokeness. See a pattern?

Fluffy has been reincarnated into a shiny new silver body! He was rewarded for having been so good in his previous life. He thinks differently than he used to and he lost a button but he's okay with that because he's BIGGER. He can also stay awake for longer. Schmancy.

Celebrated Valentine's day this weekend. I now have a HUGE couchcat mao to show for it :D

I am mildly grumpy though because I won't be seeing boy for another two weeks, (for his birthday), but i suppose I've lived longer without seeing him and I'll survive.

In other news, Fluffy is dying. Fluffy has trouble turning himself on and has frequent crashes that don't seem to be a software problem. In fact, Fluffy crashes so often when I finally do get him turned on that he wouldn't make it through the reformatting process, I don't think. I checked Fluffy's warranty status and he's out of warranty for about a year now (a shame) which means he probably won't get fixed. It would be a major, gutting repair. The only thing left to do is to sell him for parts and contribute the proceeds to a new laptop. I'm thinking this time around I'm going to get a macbook pro (not a macbook) and install windows vista onto it. I haven't done enough thinking about it yet, though, and I am busy mourning the loss of Fluffy, who graciously offered me my powerpoint presentation for class before entering his coma. Strangely, there's nothing to back up this time around, save a few songs that I have on him that I don't have on Mr. Mac, but there are so few of them, I could easily get them back by re-downloading them and saving myself the pain of a backup.

I, like the Dixie Chicks, am not ready to make nice and I would like to see certain special someone(s) eat it in his/her/their cheapness.

Hassan Elmasry, ye hath fucked up (and may thus soon find yourself out of a job!). The Sulzbergers are not happy and really, a quick glance at your local bookstore's biography section should inform you that the Sulzbergers are not ones to be pissed off. I suppose it's moot at this point to reiterate that wealth management is 90% pampering your client but clearly the wealth management arm failed to make that clear to the internal funds...
It seems like a poor idea in general to campaign against one of your wealth management clients' business practices, no? Especially if your'e trying to keep their business.

Officially in the hunt for a home(!) My books will soon put their little heads down without having to worry about being boxed up and pushed around. Chaircat can finally move in!

אני לדודי ודודי לי הרעה בשושנים6.3, Song of Songs.

"Wrestle with your darkness, angels call your name; do you hear what they are saying? Will you ever be the same?"

An excellent week of skiing
A new (and amazing) tailor
An asskicking pilates workout