This post was going to be about the Liberal Hippie Douchebags I find so tiresome in life, but instead, i have decided to fill out this self-awareness quiz. These answers will be infinitely more interesting than answers of this nature usually are

e s s e n t i a l s


name: Tiffany (why don't I have a "the fourth" preceding my four names??)
single or taken: taken, and enjoying the sex.
sex: yes please
bday: April 29th
sign: Taurus, and don't you know it.
siblings: My parents had me and said "NO MORE"
hair colour: black
eye color: brown
height: A very mighty 5'2


r e l a t i o n s h i p s


who is your best friend?: Ted
do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Yes, but sometimes he acts like a girlfriend
did you send this to your crush?: what?
did your crush send this to you?: what?



f a s h i o n | s t u f f


where is your favourite place to shop: Barneys Co-Op and Saks. Recently, the Rogan sample sale
any tattoos or piercing: I have a full body tattoo which I cover with foundation so you just don't see it


s p e c i f i c s


do you do drugs?: well, maybe I used to
what kind of shampoo do you use?: Pert Plus chased with a healthy dose of Frederic Fekkai glossing conditioner
what are you listening to right now?: That new Eurythmics song
where do you want to get married?: It's a tossup between St Patty's on 5th and the Coyote Ugly bar
how many buddies are online right now?: Hell if I knew. I'm not checking
what would you change about yourself?: absolutely nothing


f a v o u r i t e s


colour: Blue, probably. I don't know I own a lot of blue things and tend to gravitate towards them
food: good food. Any good food. And by good, I don't mean shit like Morton's or the Outback Steakhouse. Don't insult me like that.
boys names: Nicholas, Scott, Nathan
girls names: Madison, Tiffany
animals: Chaircat mao and Shawn the Sheep. Stitch is also alright too, but he's technically not an animal. Ted and I pine for a real cat.
sports: Don't even get me started, I won't finish. Let's just say I went for a ride today and have hockey in about an hour


h a v e | y o u | e v e r


given anyone a bath?: If you mean to ask me whether i've showered with someone...
smoked?: yes, but that was in my impressionable days before i knew it was bad for me
bungee jumped?: no
made yourself throw up?: Why the fuck would you want to do that?
skinny dipped?: no.
ever been in love?: yes, but i regularly fall out of it temporarily when he drools on my arm or pushes me off the bed
made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: no, that's just pathetic
pictured your crush naked?: So that dude who's Ted's fakey friend is cute, but I think I'd probably laugh at him if i pictured him naked
actually seen your crush naked?: evidently not
cried when someone died?: Do movies count?
lied?: Half of this shit is a lie. Figure out which half
fallen for your best friend?: Yes, see above.
been rejected?: Yes
rejected someone?: I throw that shit down like it's my JOB
used someone?: definitely. You could be next
done something you regret?: hahahahahaha i don't regret. I'm stoic like that


c u r r e n t


clothes: My new Rogan pinstripey pants
music: Nothing really, unless old school Air Supply and ABBA and
make-up: NARS
pet peeve: Liberal Hippie Douchebags, and the uselessness that is the United Nations
smell: Ted, or, in a pinch, Creed's Imperial Millesme
desktop picture: The Sovereign's Gate at Westminster Abbey
favourite artist: I don't art, either
favourite groups: Most groups aren't good enough to be called my favorite. They have a song or two.
book you are reading: the Souls of Black Folk (W.E Du Bois) and Woolf's "Three Guineas"
cd in player: The Reunion concert of Simon and Garfunkel in Central Park
dvd in player: I don't movie
colour of toenails: I don't do this either. pedicures are easier and they always do a better job


l a s t | p e r s o n


you touched: Hell if I knew
you im'ed; Audrey, yelling at what a moron she is
you yelled at: See above
you kissed: Obviously, Ted.


a r e | y o u


understanding: absolutely not
arrogant: yes, and it's a refreshing change that someone is honest enough to say it
insecure: sometimes
interesting:Who the fuck makes this shit up??
random:
smart: I once beat a guy up. does that count?
moody:
organized: nope
healthy: I try to be, but then it all gets washed down with fried chicken or booze
bored easily: yes.
shy: No. BRING IT.
difficult: yes
attractive: To the lesbians in the DFC who follow me around and to the 40 something year old executives who bike in central park, incredibly so!
messy: yes
responsible: responsibility is for assclowns
hyper: I dont' have energy for that anymore
happy: Not happy that I have to schlepp to 116th and Broadway in 10 minutes, but yes
trusting: Nope
talkative: Yes


w h o | d o | y o u | w a n n a


kill?: Liberal Hippie Douchebags
slap: See above
get really wasted with? I'd have to say....Prince William or in a pinch my friends
get high with: the cycling team
talk to offline: a friend or two I haven't seen in years
talk to online: whoever's online


r a n d o m


in the morning: n/a
all i need is: a hell of a lot. I don't pretend to be minimalist in this regard
love is: Having a stuffed cat in co-custody but pretending it's real and bringing it between its homes
i dream about: nothing. I can't remember them or i don't dream


w h i c h | i s | b e t t e r


Coke or Pepsi: coke
Flowers or candy: Flowers
tall or short: tall


o p p o s I t e | s e x


what do you notice first: hot or not
makes you laugh the most: hahahahah I won't answer this for fear of being too explicit
makes you smile: hot boys
him/her: him, although the lesbians in the DFC wish it were another way


d o | y o u | e v e r


sit on the Internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you? NO
wish you were a member of the opposite sex? No, because boys are retarded and unrefined
wish you were younger: no.
cried because someone said something to you?: do movies count?


f i n a l | q u e s t i o n s


do you like fillings these out? not really they take too long
gold or silver: really is this even a question
favourite cartoon/anime: I dont' watch this stuff. Cartoon maybe calvin and hobbes?
what did you have for breakfast this morning: ?
who would you love being locked in a room with: Ted, but let's hope to god the room would stay locked...
could you live without your computer: no
would you colour your hair: yes
drink alcohol?: VEUVE CLICQUOT LA GRANDE DAME FRANCE '06, bitch!
like watching sunrises or sunsets?: Sunsets are nice. sunrises are oppressively early

I am becoming progressively more and more anally retentive, I think! I went into the bathroom and for the first time noticed that all the bottles of shampoo and conditioner and such are tilted and precisely the same 45 degree angle on the shower ledge and that all the bottles on the above sink shelf are lined up evenly. Of course I'm still same old me though because shit is everywhere in the rest of the apartment (though i suppose in straight little lines and piles). I must be getting this from my boyfriend. Ted is anally retentive and he has become more laid back and *slightly* less uptight. I think he is stealing my signature character trait and in exchange leaving me some of his anal retentiveness. I don't have time to contemplate the metaphysics of it all and actually I need to return to this paper which clearly has not been completed but is so incredibly incredibly due today. Of course it doesn't help that I went riding with the boys last night, who, instead of riding "slow" like they said they would, made a paceline and did some serious sprints. Clearly, I will need to be on the rollers a lot more and pulling cadences more around 100 because me ass got kicked on a few of those hillsprints. Boys.

On a side note, I am usually not impressed with things termed "feminist" but Virginia Woolf's Three Guineas is a fabulous book. In fact, one of my new favorite quotes comes from its pages and with that, I leave you:

"By chastity is meant that when you have made enough to live on by your profession you must refuse to sell your brain for the sake of money. That is you must cease to practice your profession, or practise it for the sake of research and experiment; or, if you are an artist, for the sake of art; or give the knowledge acquired professionally to those who need it for nothing. But directly the mulberry tree begins to make you circle, break off. Pelt the tree with laughter."

Here is a shiny new picture of Class Ring. He is camera shy and my apartment is small so I had to take the shot of him from an overhead angle to get every part of him in. His teeth are very white and they give off a little glare. Cute. Of course Class Ring is a boy. I am in love with my cat, my bike and my man. They all have to be boys. I am, as a matter of principle, in love with boy things and not girl things. I am searching for a new pair of shoes for him and a treadmill for him too.

Ohhhhhhhhh "Class Ring" came today. I decided to name my bike "Class Ring" because it cost more than one and I can say I bought a "Class Ring". It so so SO sweet. Pictures when I get around to taking a picture of it. It is suuuuper specc'ed out:

Ultegra everything. EVERYTHING Ultegra
Some Carbon, some aluminum
Time Pedals
Fizik Arione Special edition saddle (it just looked really good on the bike)
and soon to be
Fizik Microtek bar tape. in SILVER. hahaha yum.

On another note, I am in a princess phase of life again. I want to be a princess. Princess meee. Princess me NOW.

Love, Tiffany.

I am recovering nicely from the onslaught of last week, thankfully with the help of my five day weekend. Unfortunately, lord knows I had a shitload of things to do during this five day weekend, not the least of which involved reading the entire "On Liberty" by John Stewart Mill and writing an ArtHum paper. If I can email a draft to my instructor in the next six hours, I will potentially get some feedback on it, which is exciting. I just may exercise that option to prevent myself from getting blindsided by her unfounded criticisms yet again.

I bought a bike on Saturday, to replace the ride I'm selling/prettymuch already have sold - my old faithful C'dale which was just too harsh of a ride for any serious racing. Unfortunately, the bike store seems to have lost my bike...when I called them for the shipping number, their computer was down and they said they'd call in about twenty minutes to let me know the tracking information for the rather hard to lose bike box. No problem. They called back and said they'd need a little more information to find the bike so I gave them a bunch of stuff like the model and what it was tricked out with, etc. Also, no problem. It's been an hour and a half later though and I haven't gotten a call back and I'm started to get a little worried. I called them a few minutes ago looking for the dude I spoke with on both occasions and he seems to have vanished into thin air, too. I'll be really peeved if anything happens because I spent a good long time deciding which bike i wanted and what to slap on it.
I went with an Orbea with full Ultegra and Shimano 550 wheels, Time pedals and a Fizik Arione saddle (probably the most exciting part of the whole purchase. Yes, I'm a dork that way.) I will defintiely have the status of my bike before 8:00pm which is when they close. Or so I tell myself. Argh.

So I feel like this blog needs more pictures than it's been getting lately and these pictures will come at the expense of...Chinese homework for a little while. So I will feature a picture of the boy that I'm sure he doesn't want posted. Hahahaha.

1: Slutty underwear and fancy jeans:



There's a great story behind this pair of underwear. Let's just say he was massively pressured into buying it by me because I thought they looked really hot. They're black with a red band. And kinda tight. hehehehehe.

And maybe on that same theme of red things, a picture of ABE, the Automatic Benthic Explorer developed at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute (WHOI) in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. This was about 300miles off the coast of Fiji in the Eastern Lau Spreading Basin (unLEASH the inner dork!) I also have datasets for all these dives if anyone's interested!



And this dude is Gordon Perry, father of pro surfer Tamayo Perry. And one cool bastard on that boat, the Kilo Moana:



I'm also going to add this excerpt from one of my readings about Goya's Caprichos etchings. I lie not, this is EXACTLY what it says:

"The aim of the simultaneous presence of the instrument of optical magnification (which points as much to the register as it does to the double sex displayed in the foreground) and the laughing, jeering faces placed around this focus would appear to highlight the scandalous detail. The stomach-face is an ancient figure in orgiastic rights, which, in the form of Baubo the vulva-goddess, provoked veneficial and regenerative laughter, and which survived in the carnivalesque processions until the end of the eighteen century...Not so common, but there all the same, was the double presentation of Baubo (the mythical vulva) and Baubon (the symbolic phallus). Goya includes this motif in his drawings, combining both sexes in one and the same person."

The picture is people staring at a pregnant lady, smiling. I love art criticism.