This post was going to be about the Liberal Hippie Douchebags I find so tiresome in life, but instead, i have decided to fill out this self-awareness quiz. These answers will be infinitely more interesting than answers of this nature usually are

e s s e n t i a l s


name: Tiffany (why don't I have a "the fourth" preceding my four names??)
single or taken: taken, and enjoying the sex.
sex: yes please
bday: April 29th
sign: Taurus, and don't you know it.
siblings: My parents had me and said "NO MORE"
hair colour: black
eye color: brown
height: A very mighty 5'2


r e l a t i o n s h i p s


who is your best friend?: Ted
do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Yes, but sometimes he acts like a girlfriend
did you send this to your crush?: what?
did your crush send this to you?: what?



f a s h i o n | s t u f f


where is your favourite place to shop: Barneys Co-Op and Saks. Recently, the Rogan sample sale
any tattoos or piercing: I have a full body tattoo which I cover with foundation so you just don't see it


s p e c i f i c s


do you do drugs?: well, maybe I used to
what kind of shampoo do you use?: Pert Plus chased with a healthy dose of Frederic Fekkai glossing conditioner
what are you listening to right now?: That new Eurythmics song
where do you want to get married?: It's a tossup between St Patty's on 5th and the Coyote Ugly bar
how many buddies are online right now?: Hell if I knew. I'm not checking
what would you change about yourself?: absolutely nothing


f a v o u r i t e s


colour: Blue, probably. I don't know I own a lot of blue things and tend to gravitate towards them
food: good food. Any good food. And by good, I don't mean shit like Morton's or the Outback Steakhouse. Don't insult me like that.
boys names: Nicholas, Scott, Nathan
girls names: Madison, Tiffany
animals: Chaircat mao and Shawn the Sheep. Stitch is also alright too, but he's technically not an animal. Ted and I pine for a real cat.
sports: Don't even get me started, I won't finish. Let's just say I went for a ride today and have hockey in about an hour


h a v e | y o u | e v e r


given anyone a bath?: If you mean to ask me whether i've showered with someone...
smoked?: yes, but that was in my impressionable days before i knew it was bad for me
bungee jumped?: no
made yourself throw up?: Why the fuck would you want to do that?
skinny dipped?: no.
ever been in love?: yes, but i regularly fall out of it temporarily when he drools on my arm or pushes me off the bed
made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: no, that's just pathetic
pictured your crush naked?: So that dude who's Ted's fakey friend is cute, but I think I'd probably laugh at him if i pictured him naked
actually seen your crush naked?: evidently not
cried when someone died?: Do movies count?
lied?: Half of this shit is a lie. Figure out which half
fallen for your best friend?: Yes, see above.
been rejected?: Yes
rejected someone?: I throw that shit down like it's my JOB
used someone?: definitely. You could be next
done something you regret?: hahahahahaha i don't regret. I'm stoic like that


c u r r e n t


clothes: My new Rogan pinstripey pants
music: Nothing really, unless old school Air Supply and ABBA and
make-up: NARS
pet peeve: Liberal Hippie Douchebags, and the uselessness that is the United Nations
smell: Ted, or, in a pinch, Creed's Imperial Millesme
desktop picture: The Sovereign's Gate at Westminster Abbey
favourite artist: I don't art, either
favourite groups: Most groups aren't good enough to be called my favorite. They have a song or two.
book you are reading: the Souls of Black Folk (W.E Du Bois) and Woolf's "Three Guineas"
cd in player: The Reunion concert of Simon and Garfunkel in Central Park
dvd in player: I don't movie
colour of toenails: I don't do this either. pedicures are easier and they always do a better job


l a s t | p e r s o n


you touched: Hell if I knew
you im'ed; Audrey, yelling at what a moron she is
you yelled at: See above
you kissed: Obviously, Ted.


a r e | y o u


understanding: absolutely not
arrogant: yes, and it's a refreshing change that someone is honest enough to say it
insecure: sometimes
interesting:Who the fuck makes this shit up??
random:
smart: I once beat a guy up. does that count?
moody:
organized: nope
healthy: I try to be, but then it all gets washed down with fried chicken or booze
bored easily: yes.
shy: No. BRING IT.
difficult: yes
attractive: To the lesbians in the DFC who follow me around and to the 40 something year old executives who bike in central park, incredibly so!
messy: yes
responsible: responsibility is for assclowns
hyper: I dont' have energy for that anymore
happy: Not happy that I have to schlepp to 116th and Broadway in 10 minutes, but yes
trusting: Nope
talkative: Yes


w h o | d o | y o u | w a n n a


kill?: Liberal Hippie Douchebags
slap: See above
get really wasted with? I'd have to say....Prince William or in a pinch my friends
get high with: the cycling team
talk to offline: a friend or two I haven't seen in years
talk to online: whoever's online


r a n d o m


in the morning: n/a
all i need is: a hell of a lot. I don't pretend to be minimalist in this regard
love is: Having a stuffed cat in co-custody but pretending it's real and bringing it between its homes
i dream about: nothing. I can't remember them or i don't dream


w h i c h | i s | b e t t e r


Coke or Pepsi: coke
Flowers or candy: Flowers
tall or short: tall


o p p o s I t e | s e x


what do you notice first: hot or not
makes you laugh the most: hahahahah I won't answer this for fear of being too explicit
makes you smile: hot boys
him/her: him, although the lesbians in the DFC wish it were another way


d o | y o u | e v e r


sit on the Internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you? NO
wish you were a member of the opposite sex? No, because boys are retarded and unrefined
wish you were younger: no.
cried because someone said something to you?: do movies count?


f i n a l | q u e s t i o n s


do you like fillings these out? not really they take too long
gold or silver: really is this even a question
favourite cartoon/anime: I dont' watch this stuff. Cartoon maybe calvin and hobbes?
what did you have for breakfast this morning: ?
who would you love being locked in a room with: Ted, but let's hope to god the room would stay locked...
could you live without your computer: no
would you colour your hair: yes
drink alcohol?: VEUVE CLICQUOT LA GRANDE DAME FRANCE '06, bitch!
like watching sunrises or sunsets?: Sunsets are nice. sunrises are oppressively early