I am in the clear. I am in the clear. I am in the clear.

I went back to the church that E took me to, today. Some to hang out with her, some to hear the singing again and some to listen to what the priest had to say.

And it was hot. It was a million degrees inside. It got even hotter when everyone started singing. But that was okay, because the sermon today was given the lofty title of "The meaning of virtue."

It was basically about this scribe who runs up to the big man and asks what the greatest of all (Jewish) laws/commandments is. The big man responds that the Schema (Deuteronomy 6:4, for all you Goy Torah buffs) - "Hear, O Israel...love God with all your soul..." - is the greatest, and that if one truly understands and obeys the Schema, what will follow is that you will in turn be compelled to love life and everything on Earth.

It's a logic which claims that if you really ARE trying to seek this relationship with God, and you are successful, you will have nothing left but love for fellow man and protozoa. Love through action, not empty word. Which means that you can't be half-assing life and living to the fullest and still be loving. And that is the greatest commandment. No garbage about pre-marital sex, sex for enjoyment's sake, failing to prothestize, not contributing to the tithe, drinking soda, etc being wrong. Those are assumed human extentions of the "ultimate law" which is: live and love fully.

It almost sounds like you're getting off with a slap on the wrist. You can do anything you want and still be in the good books? No. It doesn't work like that. You don't get to lie to yourself, and you don't get to lie to God about living to the fullest. Expecting something in return is the great qualifier. You can't truly be pouring yourself into something with abandon if you expect something in return. You aren't being truly charitable if you're counting on the tax write-off. You aren't maximizing your gifts if you cruise through and get an A but really don't give a shit whether it could have been a B or a D. You're certainly not scoring points for the afterlife if you're having sex to keep somebody in your life. That isn't living fully, that's marginally better than existing. No cheating, because Big Man knows.

So if another psycho christian lectures me about living in sin, I'll know that what I do is the opposite of that for the most part. Some of those assumed human extentions don't really apply to me because I'm finally in the position where I do things and don't expect anything back from them - for now. Which is a nice way of saying that I'm fulfilled in my own way and that I'm in the clear (perhaps not in the good books) with the dudes upstairs.

Tiffany: 1 , PsychoChristianFreaksWhoTellMeI'mGoingToHell: 0